Top 5 things people HAVE TO stop doing when dating online
Gang, ever wonder why you find yourself saying, "There just aren't any decent guys/women out there on (Tinder) (Bumble) (Match)"? Perhaps you're doing one of these 5 things that are sinking your chances out there to find Mr. Right. There's always that chance that you're screwing up on a lot more, but for now...let's focus on these 5.
1. Not asking any questions of your own
Most people craft what they think is going to be the perfect message that's funny, non-intrusive, and yet shows interest in getting to know a little bit about the other person. One friend of mine shared an experience where he matched with a girl on Tinder and they exchanged an initial message and he follow up with, "You're profile says that you're from a small town. Where are you from originally?" To which she replied, "Texas." Uh...okay. But, not to be discouraged he came back with a witty, "Did you know that there's actually at Texas City, Texas?" To which she replied, "That's not where I'm from."
M'kay...bye.
Of course, this woman may be the ultimate dud. But the point is...when a person sends you a message asking you a question you need to answer their question AND ALSO offer a question of your own. Imagine meeting someone in person for the first time and for every question they asked you simply responded...Yes...No...Texas.
2. Crummy handling of initial messages
You should all know not to be a lazy jerk and just copy and paste the same messages to people over and over again. You should also know not to lead off with a pathetic "Hey" or "Sup". BUT...I'm going to throw out there that people HAVE TO STOP expecting to be completely dazzled with the initial message they receive. Cut the sender some slack and understand that they're basically shooting into the dark and have relatively little to go on. Additionally, if you DO decide to reply to an initial message put as much effort into your response as the person put into their initial message.
Similarly, to all of you who are too lazy to put any content into your profile descriptions, SHAME ON YOU! Any time you find yourself writing, "If you have any questions...just ask" you're showing that you have little to no interest in actually making a connection with anyone.
3. Over analyzing every text, comment, action...
A funny thing has happened since the dawn of online dating. People now have the time to sit back, analyze, and reach an relatively uninformed decision about someone they've never met. Back in the "old days" you'd either get set up with someone or meet someone in person at a bar, or church, or bread aisle, and you'd have to make an instant decision, "Do I like this person enough to give them my number and see where things go?" What you didn't do is have them fill out a form asking them what their religion and hobbies are, nor did you stretch out one or two sentence at time conversations over days before you decided if you wanted to grab a drink with them.
Stop thinking that you know everything about a person based on what a profile page says. Stop reviewing every message or text they send and reading some deeper meaning in it. Maybe they forgot to hold the door open for you because they were busy trying to remember to compliment you on your shoes. Don't expect to walk out of a first, second, or even a third date and think that you know everything about them. Nor should you think you know that you've found the love of your life. Cut people some slack and get to know them. This is a marathon...not a sprint.
4. Photos
All right people, it's 2016 and we shouldn't have to go over this but let's lay it out on the line once and for all. Stop posting the following: shirtless, duckface, holding deer head, you hidden in a group, selfie of you in your driver's seat, you 3+ years ago, you really under what you weigh now, anything that's Photoshopped, only having 1 profile pic, not having at least one full body pic, and finally...only having photos where you look the best you've ever looked in your entire life.
Finally, guys...you have to stop sending Crotch Shots. Women, flat out...hands down...100% don't want to see them.
5. Waiting games
It's no secret that guys swipe right a lot more than women...and will decide if they want to message the woman if they happen to match at a later time. It's also no secret that women's inboxes get flooded with new messages. Knowing that, it's time that people stopped drawing out the amount of time between being matched and engaging in a conversation. If you don't intend to get to know someone, then don't play games with messages that come days apart, or (ladies I'm taking to you) messaging someone simply to refresh your clock on Bumble. Doing any of these only leads the other person on.
If you're honestly too busy to respond to a message or text from someone within a reasonable time...then you're too busy to be online dating.
In conclusion, be engaged, do unto others as you'd WANT them to do unto you, and cut each other some slack.
Oh...and it's worth repeating...stop sending crotch shots.
Sincerely,
Your friends at KeepUntil