When you know you're over your Ex

There are hundreds of articles out there about how to get over your Ex, but how do you REALLY know that you've moved on?

This is a really difficult emotion to define. I'm going to boil it down to one simple statement and honest feeling about your Ex: "I don't care what they do or what they think of me." Now, here's the hard part. So many people will tell themselves and their friends that they don't care about their Ex, but often if they are truly going to be honest with themselves...they actually still care.

Many people find themselves coming out of a breakup dealing with a lot of sadness, resentment, and maybe even hatred. This can be a lot to deal with and I'm not about to tell you (as so many people might) that you should "just get over it." That's always easier said than done. As I mentioned above, there are countless articles out there to tell you what you need to do to get over your Ex and it is absolutely in your interest to work though those steps. Writing in a journal, exercise, being with friends, and (of course) giving yourself some separation from those reminders of your Ex are all great ways to focus on yourself, heal, and gain closure.

But how do you know when you're done? Here's the ultimate test and it's quite simple. You see your Ex at a bar and meet their new boyfriend or girlfriend...or maybe you see that their Facebook profile picture has been updated with a picture of them and their new sweetheart...AND...you take it in...AND...you honestly don't care. Your heart doesn't twist into a knot about why the two of you didn't work out, or all of the mean things they said to you.

If you had a semi-amicable break up you might think, "I'm glad they found someone to make them happy." If it was a down and dirty break up you might think, "Well, I'm sure they're going to figure out how crazy/mean/awful in bed that jerk/psycho is."

BUT, the key is that you're there with your head held high and ready to move on with your life. Your Ex does not define who you are. Your Ex is part of your life and the two of you shared good times and bad. You laughed and you fought but ultimately the two of you didn't work out. So, if they find someone else that is richer, cuter, chestier, or finally convinces your Ex to try sushi even though you tried like 1,000 times to get them to do it and THEY NEVER WOULD...[whew]...[deep breath].

Ahem...When you're healed and over your Ex your heart will let you know. Try running through the scenario in your head - bumping into your Ex or seeing some photo of them on Facebook. Do you honestly not care?

When you can see that your Ex has moved on and accept that they don't want to be with you anymore...and it doesn't hurt...YOU are officially over your Ex.

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