The "dating game" is a phrase I use often because that's what it feels like. Each side over thinking, wondering what the other one is doing, and calculating each step. Being a single mom is difficult enough without having to try to play “the game.” I don’t have the time, or let’s be honest, the patience for it. Here are five things this single mom wants you to know about dating single moms.
1. My child does come first, even before me. This means I might have to cancel or change plans at the last moment. This is not a reflection on you or my commitment to the relationship; it is just a fact of my life. On the positive side it means I am flexible and independent. I’m not going to be clingy, worrying about if you are spending enough time with me. I understand and appreciate that you have others things going on in your life. It also means I’m going to understand when you have to change or cancel plans, even at the last minute.
2. Don’t worry about being my child’s “dad.” He has a dad and I’m not looking for a replacement. Let’s start with focusing on you and me first. Once I’ve decided our relationship is going somewhere we can discuss how my child will fit in the picture. First I have to decide if I like you and if we’re a match for plain old dating...and you have to do the same for me! THEN...I have to decide you are worthy before you will ever become a part of my child’s life. This isn’t a race to the finish line.
3. I’m not necessarily looking for a husband or a hook up, but that doesn’t mean I’m opposed to either. Don’t assume anything just ask me what I’m looking for and I will tell you.
4. My heart has the capacity for love and compromise that non-moms might not have. I love my child more than I love myself. I have learned to put someone else’s wants and needs before my own and know it is not all about me. Think about it, this could really work towards your benefit.
5. I do not need to be saved or rescued. I am independent and am capable of taking care of my child and myself. Life has already thrown several curve balls at me and I have survived, I am stronger for it. Now this doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally enjoy having you take care of me. Pamper me or heck just take out my trash. All of these gestures will be noticed and greatly appreciated.