Many of us have heard in the course of a breakup that their boyfriend/girlfriend wants to remain friends afterwards. Of course, lots of people just say this in a effort to "be nice". Additionally, other people will tell their Ex that they want to remain friends because they're still hurting from the breakup and aren't ready to let go.
In the words of one friend of mine, "My ex wife and I were married for a couple of years and then got a divorce before we ever had kids. I never understood why people say they want to stay friends with their Ex. It wasn't like I hated my Ex, but more like neither one of us saw any reason to stay in touch. What were we going to do? Go see a movie together?"
Researchers, Justin Mogilski and Lisa L.M. Welling from Oakland University conducted a study with 861 people and examined their inherent personality traits and why they continued their relationships with their Ex. They found that many people wanted to remain friends with their Ex due to a sense of reliability, trustworthiness, and a strong sentimental attachment.
They discovered that people who scored highly among the dark personality traits - dishonesty, lack of empathy, and psychopathy - chose hooking up and practicality as their key motivator for remaining friends. Nice of someone who broke your heart, eh?
So what does this mean for you?
If you or your Ex are saying that you want to remain friends, take a look at the reasons behind it. If your Ex was egotistical, mean spirited, and manipulative while you were together, this study shows that their desires to remain friends most likely is all about them. They don't care about your feelings.
Not sure if you have any of these dark personality traits? Take this quiz and find out how you score!