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Can you break up by text?

So you've decided that it's just not working out with the person you're dating. Now the question arises, "Do I have to do this in person or can I just send them a text?"

Let's admit it. No one wants to sit there and watch someone cry and ask a bunch of questions about what went wrong. So that begs the question of why go through the whole process of leading them to think you're going to have a nice date - only to drop the breakup bomb on them. Wouldn't the person rather just get a text and not have to deal with the agony? How do you know what's you should do? Answer these questions and follow the path to both freedom and respect.

1. Is it a "break up"?

If you're to the point that then you think about it you actually think of it as a "break up" then the answer is "No, you can't break up by text."

2. What was the intimacy level?

Make out session...then you can text. Maybe you rounded some or all of the bases. You can still text. If this was a one night or few night stand, then you're okay sending them a text. Friend with can break up with a text. But if this was someone that you cared about, had cuddling moments, and were regularly sleeping with (even if you didn't consider them you're boyfriend/girlfriend) then you need to break up in person.

3. What if I don't want to hurt their feelings?

No one wants to make someone else cry, but I'm here to tell you that if that other person is to the "crying stage" and you care(d) about this person AT ALL you need to break up with them in person. Nowadays, in our world of online dating, people can fall into a world of disconnectedness. By that I mean that you and your significant other met as cyber-world people...why not just end it that way?

The answer is because it's just plain rude. It's taking

the easy way out. It's not what Grace Kelly

or Cary Grant would have done. Despite how hard it might be and the fact that you're going to have to deal with a lot of emotion. You owe it to yourself, your soon-to-be-ex, and the dating world as a whole to break up with them in person.

In the end, they might cry, and scream, and call you every name in the book, but ultimately you are an adult and you owe it to them to behave that way and treat them likewise.

Think of it like you're getting laid off from your job. How would you feel if your employer said to themselves, "They've only been here for a little while. It's not like they're an important part of this company. Why hassle with bringing them into the office and letting them go in person? Let's just shoot them a text and say, 'Hey...I don't know how to say this, but it's not working out. I'm going to have to let you go.'" It would never happen.

You're going to have to decide what's best for you. I encourage you, however, to take the other person's feelings into consideration. The dating world seems to be spiraling into this impersonal abyss where relationships and emotions are traded like baseball cards. The thing is...we don't have let let it happen. We are still humans who have emotions. Let's treat the people we've let into even a little bit of our hearts like they deserve the respect of a face to face break up.

Stay strong,


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