Have you ever said something on a first date and immediately known that you just screwed up any chance for a second date?
It's one of those situations where you visualize the words pouring out of your mouth and you know that a disaster is following in their wake. You immediately pray that your hands will turn into vacuums and you can magically suck the words back before they hit your date's ears. Unfortunately, you can't. It's too late. You just have to wait for them to hear what you said, process it, and let that look of confusion...disappointment...or disgust wash over their face.
That very thing happened to me on a date a had with a woman I met online. After messaging and then texting with for a few days, she and I met for drinks at a nice (but not too fancy) local bar. All was going well. She was laughing, suggested we get an appetizer after ordering her second glass of wine, and even touched my arm! Most people would read all these signs that the odds of a second date were better than average. Then I said it:
"Do you and your ex husband get along?"
I saw the words pouring out of my mouth and immediately thought, "What the hell are you doing? You don't talk about Exes on a first date (or second...or third, for that matter)! You're going to scare her off!"
And then the words hit her. Her eyebrows raised up. Her face crinkled. She leaned backwards. She replied with a tepid, "Uh, yeah. We get along fine." Whatever good path I had been on with the wine, appetizer, and arm touching was completely derailed. I tried to cover my tracks by saying something like, "Uh...I mean...it's all about the kids, right?" I guess I was trying to get the point across that I didn't have any baggage and that "dealing with my Ex" wasn't going to be an issue. I clearly failed. She wasn't having it. There was no second date. She never even texted me back.
I knew better, but I had gotten comfortable and simply let my guard down. There are just some things that you shouldn't talk about when you first meet someone.
How much you do or don't want to have kids
Your ideal man/woman
It's interesting that those subjects are so forbidden. After all, most of those are actually what are most important in our lives. The truth might be that it's actually HOW important those topics are that they don't have a place in your first date conversation list. They're just too intense. If you look at a first date like trying to get a squirrel to eat out of your hand you soon realize that running in with your hands and arms waiving around is not a recipe for success.
Learn from me. There are just somethings that you shouldn't talk about on a first date.
What's the worst thing you've ever said to ruin a first date?